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Whitey Harwood: Praise the Lord and pass the biscuits

By Whitey Harwood

Right after Christmas 2019, this opinion by Ada Fisher, “Free will means you can’t force agreement” was in the Salisbury Post.

I tried to read it then, but I got lost and was thinking we, (Ada Fisher and myself) ain’t got nothing in common. We are as about as opposite as two people can get.

I thought I had recycled that paper, but last night (Jan. 28) while I was looking for some souse meat and some ‘possum grease to fry it in, I found it. The Free Will story.

After a fine supper, I decided to try reading it again. And I’m glad I did.

I realized we had more in common than I first thought.

After getting lost for the second time, I deduced that the editor must help her with her writings, too, like he does me.

The second thing we have in common, we both worked at the VAMC

Ada retired as a physician, so she is certified as a medical doctor or a M.D.

I retired as a housekeeper, so I was qualified as a m.d., or a “mop dragger.”

The third thing we have in common, we both try writing for the Salisbury Post.

She writes about religion and politicians.

I write about Mother Earth and ‘possums, so I reckon we are sorta writin’ about the same things.

But, when she wrote this, “Whether I agree with folks and their religious beliefs is irrelevant; I always have the freedom to remove myself from their congregations if I disagree with their philosophy,” I figured it was time to break out the pen and work on my PTSD again.

So at this point in time, I would love to share this little story I heard years ago with the rest of the readers and smellers of the Salisbury Post.

This “feller” was stranded on a deserted island for 15 years. Every day, with his knife, he would mark the new day on the trees, so he could keep up with the days and years. And he prayed.

One day he spotted a boat headed for the island. He went running toward the water with both arms extended to the heavens and ashoutin’, “My prayers have been answered. My prayers have been answered.”

The boat pulls up to the shore and the captain steps off and asks. “What’s goin’ on here.”

The rescued Christian (we’ll call him R.C.) was so excited he could hardly speak, but he finally got it out.

R.C: “I’m so happy to finally see someone. I didn’t think I would ever be rescued!”

Captain: “How long you been here?”

R.C: I’ve been here 15 years by myself. I haven’t seen another human being all that time.”

Captain: “You sure you’ve been here all that time by yourself?”

R.C: “Yes, sir! You can count it off for yourself. I’ve marked down every day on those trees over there.”

Captain: “Yeah, but if you’ve been here all that time and it’s just you, what are all those buildings over there?”

R.C.: “Well, that first building there, that’s my house. That’s where I live.”

Captain: “So, what’s that second building for?”

R.C.: “Oh, that’s my church. That’s where I go to church.”

Captain: “OK, what’s that third building over there?”

R.C.: “Oh, that’s where I used to go to church.”

Keep on smilin’ and eat more souse meat for supper.




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